INT. TAIM OFFICE BUILDING - CONFERENCE ROOM - MID MORNING is sitting at the head of the table working on her laptop and drinking her coffee alone. There are various technical objects spread out all over the table, the chairs all over. leans around the corner, smiling. Hey sorry I m late, got caught up at the gym and... Sierra trails off and walks in, surprised at the mess. (CONT D) Wow, I m guessing Niles isn t here, or you re just taking your anger issues in new directions. Val smirks at that and leans back in her chair, closing the laptop. She takes another sip of her coffee and then dismissively gestures at the objects. That first part is right... And because of that thought the feng shui of this room would help inspire his thinking instead of hard drugs. So far he s breaking even, but I think he s partial to the drugs. Sierra laughs as she walks around, looking at some of the objects carefully. I knew I shouldn t have showed him that pamphlet. She stops and looks at a bulky looking smart phone when it starts buzzing. She picks it up and reads a text. Let me guess, a new meth recipe? Sierra shakes her head no. (confused) Somebody called AAN is telling that Blake is finally having his divorce party, and would love to have... Blake bring some pornstars to the party?
2. Val tilts her head puzzled, Sierra scrolling and then shrugging. then barrels into the room, runs his hands through his messy hair, eyes wide. They stare at him, he waves it off, relaxes a bit. Eh, long story, better not to worry about it. Val sits back up and opens up her laptop. Yeah we weren t. Anyway, you better get this shit outta here before Niles and Blake get back. sits down at the other end, nodding. I will... The energy in the room didn t fulfill me the way I thought it would. (sarc) Yeah sure. Sierra hands his device and he reads it, smiling. Who is AAN, and why do they think Blake is getting divorced? (snickering) Oh that s Awesome Alternative Niles, talking about Crazy Friggin Blake... Guess he s finally leaving his connected wife; or she was like shot or something by a rival mob. Confused, Sierra looks over to Val who is just shaking her head. She then shuts her laptop again and looks at Sierra. No, you heard that right... Care to repeat that. Surprised, leans up in his chair showing them his device. This is my TDQCP, it allows me to communicate with AAN and CFB.
3. The girl s exchange perplexed glances. (CONT D) Oh sorry, you guy s aren t educated scientists like I am. Didn t you get your degree on-line? waves it off and stands up, walking around the table. This is a Trans Dimensional Quantum Comm Phone... It allows me to text with some of our alternate selves in other quantum realities... I guess my counter forgot our realities won t align for a while before we can meet in person again. (excited) Wait, so you actually met alternate versions of us? Do I have like red hair and like European techno? Val rolls her eyes and looks up thinking for a second. Actually I think in that reality you weren t born Sierra, and you Val are running a South American paramilitary group for some reason. Sierra looks visibly disappointed, Val cracks her neck and shrugs, stands up. Yep, sounds about right. Anyway, have fun in crazy land. laughs to himself, shakes his head. (to himself) Oh that Awesome Niles and his hyper sexual wife. Almost out of the room Val stops on a dime, turns back around on her heels and walks back in. She slams her laptop down on the table, grabs and pushes him into the one chair and takes the opposite one, Sierra following suit next to her.
4. (direct) You have our attention dick brain, and so help you if you waste it. (grinning) Her way of saying dish dude. nods his head and runs his hand through his hair again. This was before you got here Val, when I had created a bridge between the only stable quantum reality that ours was aligned long enough with to transfer bio matter from. Val and Sierra exchange looks, the former shaking her head. (CONT D) So I worked with my counterpart and brought that universe s Blake and Niles to ours; we couldn t do it the other way around and they could only stay here for a day. (shocked) You were literally sleeping in a potato sack last night on a sewer grate in Van Nuys, but somehow you re able to do the impossible. nods his head vigorously with wide eyes. I know right, but it was a sleeping bag a bum gave me for my bindle... Don t worry, he got the worse end of the deal, trust me. (annoyed) And we re moving on. So in that universe, they re both married? nods again; QUICK TRANSITION to his story, beginning in his lab from years ago. Techs are milling about excitedly as the camera pans slowly to Alternate Blake and Niles lying on bio-beds wearing only shorts, unconscious.
5. That Blake has various tattoos and Niles is scratched up. At the other end of the lab we see our Blake and Niles being led in by an excited. They immediately see their alternate versions, Blake smiling and Niles sighing. God damn it ; I told you you do not have my permission to create a sex doll version of me. How many ways must I say this? They all stop at the beds, Blake looking closely at the other (grimacing) Yeah man, and I ve been encouraging you to make one of me for years, but with tattoos? Blake and Niles back away, confused, when techs put needles to their alternate version s necks; injecting them with something. LEAD TECH looks at their readings, smiling. LEAD TECH That should do it; their transfer is complete and they should regain consciousness in minutes. smiles crossing his arms. The other two still look confused and gestures wildly at them. They re not sex dolls, they re both you, but from an alternate reality! then walks to a computer station and begins to type at it, showing the guys graphs that they don t understand. (worried), I thought we had agreed you would only try to play God in virtual reality, not here. (shrugging) I think it s kind of cool... I m just curious how another me got those tats... And come on dude, you see those scratches on the other you? Maybe you re like a lion tamer or something.
6. There s some stirring on the other side of the lab; they all turn to see the alternates sitting up, holding their heads carefully, steadying themselves. ALTERNATE (groaning) Each tattoo is only a reminder of how much I hate my life. ALTERNATE (clearing throat) But these scratches are exactly why I love mine... Niles, is your wife like mine, or are her nails shorter? Blake and Niles both look at their counterparts, and then at, who is looking back with a grin. You guy s are so welcome. They shake their heads cautiously. JUMP CUT TO: INT. TAIM OFFICE BUILDING - CONFERENCE ROOM - SAME TIME VAL and are still at the conference table, the girls looking at each other with mixed expressions. The whole reason I did this wasn t to play God, but to help our Blake and Niles see there s more to life than sex and organizing. And somehow you did so successfully? And wait, you did all that to show them a different perspective on life? leans back, touches his noses and nods his head. Exactly, plus we hadn t been together that long and I wanted to impress them... Shame it didn t work out like I had hoped.
7. QUICK TRANSITION to the two Blake s in the conference room. We see ALTERNATE looking at a laptop with his mouth open, stunned. is behind him with his arms crossed. (smiling) Her name is Crystal, and was only the fifth performer I had worked with when that was filmed, but was definitely the wildest so far. Alternate Blake shakes his head, runs hand over his mouth. ALTERNATE (stunned) I just can t believe it. I mean, I guess I have the body to be a pornstar, but the balls? Blake closes his laptop and laughs, sits on the other side. (smiling) That s one of the main reasons I work in adult. Alternate Blake laughs a second, sits back in the chair, eyes wide, slowly swaying back and fourth. ALTERNATE Dude, I haven t been laid in months, and I m married. And you re single and get paid to bang hot chicks? Talk about the short end. Aww come on, don t tell me you re a walking stereotype? The married guy who doesn t get any from his wife; too cliche. Alternate Blake shakes his head, annoyed. ALTERNATE I m married to a closeted lesbian who is the daughter of a Brazilian mob boss, all of us under constant surveillance by the feds; my only purpose being to schlep her around and cover for her lesbian stuff... And if I don t she ll have me cut to pieces and fed to pigs.
8. Blake leans back, eyes wide and his hand on his mouth, looking around a moment uncomfortable. Oof... Yeah, that s much worse. But wait, why do you do it? ALTERNATE Because we hooked in college and then got caught up in that life, like almost instantly. She led me along with sex just long enough to sink her evil nails in, and now I m locked in forever. Blake makes a face, stands up and takes a drink. Well, from everything you told me that is different between our two realities, I guess our fascination with mob culture is the same. Alternate Blake stands up next, shaking his head and pacing. ALTERNATE Trust me, I m not fascinated with it anymore like I was. I live that shitty life everyday, while you get to make a mint while banging 10 s. Blake s cell beeps, he takes it out, texting someone. Nah, ironically male pornstars make the least in the business. I just know how to diversify better than most of them do. But you re right about the 10 s. He looks up and sees Alternate Blake staring at him, pointing with a weird look. ALTERNATE Dude, how s about hooking a brother up... Wait, I m not even your brother, I m you; which should make you feel more compelled to do so. (confused) Wait, what?
9. Alternate Blake walks around the table and slowly walks toward Blake. ALTERNATE You know, I haven t been with anyone since we got together. But she doesn t know I m here, and for the first time in years I m not being monitored by the feds. Blake stretches his neck uncomfortably, finishes his beer. Look dude, I ve never been one to hook up my guy friends with the women I work with... And I can t exactly do so easily with you when you re me and all that jazz. Alternate Blake continues to walk toward him as Blake tries to naturally back away, looks awkward doing so. ALTERNATE (waves it off) Oh what, cause of the tattoos? Don t worry, I ll just wear a shirt, and swear I ll never tell them I m not you, because I am you. (awkward) Yeah, see that s kind of a grey area, for like a thousand reasons. Alternate Blake picks a pen up from the table and eventually backs Blake into a corner. ALTERNATE Well, better grey than red, right, Blake? Blake swallows uncomfortably, staring at the pen. Alternate Blake looks at it and smiles, throwing it away. He starts to laugh, our Blake eventually doing so as well. ALTERNATE (CONT D) Oh, you must have thought I was like, going to use that pen to threaten you or something? (laughing) Yes, exactly. (MORE)
10. (CONT'D) But come on, we re both Blake, and at the end of the day that s not our thing. Alternate Blake nods his head, his laugh fading. ALTERNATE (shrugging) Sure, if I had grown up as you I d probably be living your life... But I didn t, Blake. And because of that, I don t need a pen to threaten you, as I ve learned from some hard pipe hittin Brazilians how to change a guy s mind. Blake clears his throat awkwardly, looks around a moment. Was that from Pulp Fiction? ALTERNATE (confused) Wait, pulp what? Blake looks down a moment, shakes his head. (sighing) Exxxactly. JUMP CUT TO: INT. TAIM OFFICE BUILDING - CONFERENCE ROOM - SAME TIME VAL and look stunned, walking around the conference room, eating food from his hand. He finishes it and wipes his hands on his pants, falling into another chair. (sarc) So that definitely didn t go how I thought it would. And you would think a guy with that many tattoos in Portuguese would be cool. Val looks at Sierra, then, her hand falling to the table. (incredulous) Like, what does that even mean?
11. Oh, they technically speak Portuguese in Brazil, and not Brazilian like you white breds think they do. (to Sierra) I bet I can find a pen and use it on him. Can I, can I please? Sierra rubs Val s back a moment while the latter takes in a long breath, cracks her neck. Okay, so what happened? QUICK TRANSITION to office. ALTERNATE has his feet up on the desk as Niles walks in hanging up his cell phone. His eyes go right to the desk and Alternate Niles takes his feet off. ALTERNATE Sorry, I forgot, your OCD. My kindred soul got me away from that years ago. (awkward) Oh isn t that umm, yeah anyway; how much longer will you be here again? Alternate Niles gets up and sits on the couch, Niles cleaning his desk compulsively. ALTERNATE Buddy come on, if I had known you were still a virgin somehow, I wouldn t have gone into detail of how I got these scratches... Especially the ones on my head. (annoyed) First, you know nothing of my sexual state. And second, I simply asked how you got them... Hardly expecting a detailed and vivid telling of the vigorous intercourse you engage in with your wife. Alternate Niles half smiles, leans back, relaxes comfortably.
12. ALTERNATE You know, our hearts are still the same, I don t care how different our realities are. I can t imagine your s wouldn t have skipped a beat the first time you saw her. (confused) Wait, like a a heart murmur? Alternate Niles laughs, throws his hands up. ALTERNATE Like you just saw the most striking example of beauty ever! With eyes so piercing, a smile so perfect, a body so deserving of worship that you wonder if she s even real... He gets up and begins to pace, shaking his head. ALTERNATE (CONT D) But getting to know her? Learning how intelligent and passionate she is, how wonderful her heart and soul are... I just can t fathom how you wouldn t feel the same. (rolling eyes) Yeah, I exist in reality, not some harlequin romance universe. ALTERNATE (smiling) Romantic? Not so much... She was my arresting officer. (sarc) Sure, why wouldn t she be? Alternate Niles uses his hands as if to block the memory. ALTERNATE I was zoning out on the treadmill, heard something to my right... I look over and at first she s turned fixing her long soft hair, putting her ponytail through her hat... I just love that look.
13. (half paying attention) I ve always been partial to that and... Wait, yeah you were saying? Alternate Niles smiles from ear to ear, nods. ALTERNATE She then looks over at me and smiles. In that moment I was done for good dude. But wait, why were you arrested? Alternate Niles throws his hands up, surprised he forgot. ALTERNATE Oh, well due to my association with Blake at that point, they thought I was connected somehow, so they didn t want to take any chances. Huh, I m not going to press you further on that. ALTERNATE Good that you don t. So out of nowhere her partner draws his gun on me, and I end up falling off the treadmill. Seconds later she was sitting on top of me, her hands holding mine down above my head, her eyes glued to mine. Niles makes a face, shudders a little. Eww, lying on the gym floor? Alternate Niles takes in a long breath, shakes his head. ALTERNATE (not paying attention) I can t tell you the hours since we ve been together, in that position alone, that just... He trails off, snaps out of it when Niles clears his throat. (sarc) Oh it s getting so dusty.
14. ALTERNATE (smiles) After I was cleared and reprimanded by her CO for being friends with a mob linked guy, they let me off and she walked me out. (sarc) And let me guess, you asked her out in front of the police station, under a rainbow I m thinking. ALTERNATE (far off again) We just got coffee right then and there. Same thing when we got engaged. We just went out and bought each other rings... She s the love of my existence. Things get silent after that, Alternate Niles looking away a moment and clearing his throat. Niles looks around uncomfortably, cracks his neck a second and stands up. Okay look, that s great for you, but we ve lived very different lives from the start. Alternate Niles nods and stands up, walks to his counter. ALTERNATE No disagreement, but there s no doubt in my mind that us Niles have the same heart. You just haven t found the one yet to arrest yours the way mine did. (half smiling) Ah yes, I see what you did there. ALTERNATE (laughing) I thought you might like that... See, we re not that different. Yeah no, we are, but that s okay. Alternate Niles begins to walk away and stops.
15. ALTERNATE (thoughtful) You haven t asked me her name yet. Niles tilts his head a moment in thought, shrugs. I suppose I haven t. They stare a moment at each other, Alternate Niles grinning. ALTERNATE Yeah, I think I ll keep it that way; better for you to be surprised if you ever end up meeting her. Ah, well, every time I encounter a woman in a flak jacket, I ll check to see if she has piercing eyes and long hair. Alternate Niles laughs out loud at that, stops when they hear rumbling from another room. JUMP CUT TO: INT. TAIM OFFICE BUILDING - CONFERENCE ROOM - SAME TIME is then silently acting out a fight in the one corner of the conference room. VAL and look on stunned until calms down, shaking it off and sitting back down. So that s how the fight looked... Crazy Friggin Blake thought our Blake was a lot softer than he was, assuming his life as a pornstar left him prone to being easily beaten up. I mean he kinda was, but the rest of us got there in time. (excited) Wow, how did the rest of the day go? Did the other Blake eventually break free and pretend to be our Blake, causing all kinds of mayhem in the process?
16. (annoyed) And what about this broad, married to the other Niles. Like what s her deal? I have a great smile and my eyes are just as piercing. (awkward) Yeah, but in more of an icy way, not on a soul penetrating level. Val gives her a look and then looks at who is nodding. (matter of fact) Good point, the only time I d think you d want to penetrate my soul would be to absorb its energy so you could live another thousand years. Sierra laughs at that, Val laughing sarcastically along. (sarc) Anyway wrap this up... My glamorous life and I have a meeting with a new lube start up that might want us to rep them... See if that bitch can top my contribution to society. makes a face, clears his throat. Anywho, our guy s were a good bit put off by the whole experience, so they just called it a day and made me send their counters back early. Sierra looks disappointed, shakes her head. But wait, I thought the Niles were getting along. stands when he hears and pull up in the parking lot. He begins to gather his tech quickly. Yeah, but it crapped out again when AAN started talking about his sex habits with his wife to our Niles.
17. throws his backpack of tech over his shoulder. Wait, how come they never brought this up around us before? (long breath) It s a long story, but when I was sending back their alternates I didn t account for a few sciency things, and it kinda messed up our Blake and Niles... Something about similar quantum DNA being in proximity... When they came to hours later I told them it was a VR mishap and they decided not to ask questions... A win win really. With that, shrugs and walks out, the girls staring at each other. Moments later and walk in talking....you should have just left the room dude. Look, how could I know he would have known I had wet naps on me to clean my hands after I shook his when he wasn t looking? Blake points at Niles pockets, makes a square. Because he was surprised thinking that they were condoms due to the same size of the packaging. (surprised) Wait, similar packaging? That can t be, show me one so I can compare. (grinning) Please, like I ever have condoms anywhere near me. About to respond, Niles stops and they both look at Val and Sierra who approach them. Sierra lifts up Blake s sleeve.
18. I think a tatoo wouldn t be a bad look, just don t make them from Brazil. Blake looks confused, Niles about to ask what she means and then notices Valerie staring at him with a weird smile. (sarc) Do you like my toothy smile and piercing eyes lovey? (cautious) Define piercing. Wait, like piercing ice with your icy glare? Isn t that an oxymoron? Val throws her hands up and walks away, Sierra following. (O.S.) Like, I m not going to apologize for being direct and passionate. (O.S.) Yeah, direct and passionate, let s go with that. Blake and Niles exchange confused looks. FADE TO BLACK.