Survival Guides You Didn t Know You Needed SURVIVING A ZOMBIE ATTACK Thomas Kingsley Troupe
Hi Jinx is published by Black Rabbit Books P.O. Box 3263, Mankato, Minnesota, 56002. www.blackrabbitbooks.com Copyright 2018 Black Rabbit Books Marysa Storm, editor; Michael Sellner, designer; Catherine Cates, production designer; Omay Ayres, photo researcher All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Names: Troupe, Thomas Kingsley, author. Title: Surviving a zombie attack / by Thomas Kingsley Troupe. Description: Mankato, Minnesota : Black Rabbit Books, [2018] Series: Hi jinx. Survival guides you didn t know you needed Includes bibliographical references and index. Identifiers: LCCN 2017007270 (print) LCCN 2017024863 (ebook) ISBN 9781680723748 (e-book) ISBN 9781680723441 (library binding) Subjects: LCSH: Zombies Juvenile humor. Survival Juvenile humor. Classification: LCC PN6231.Z65 (ebook) LCC PN6231.Z65 T76 2018 (print) DDC 818/.602 dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017007270 Printed in China. 9/17 Image Credits Dreamstime: Blueringmedia, Cover (r zombie), 4 (r zombie); Donald Purcell, 23 (bottom); Memoangeles, 15 (r zombie); Skypixel, 2 3; istock: hanaschwarz, 21 (boy); kbeis, Cover (large zombie, bkgd), 4 (large zombie, bkgd); Shutterstock: alexmstudio, 15 (bkgd); Anton Brand, Cover (zombie l), 4 (zombie l), 8 (zombie); Arcady, 3 (note), 13 (note); benchart, 6 7 (window); blambca, 11 (gum on face); BlueRingMedia, 6 7 (bkgd), 8 (girl), 18 (waterslide), 19 (tube); Christos Georghiou, 16 (grave, hand); Darride, 10; Evdokimov Maxim, 21 (bkgd); frescomovie, Back Cover (bkgd); GraphicsRF, 16 (girl, boy); ikandy, 14; Ilya Chalyuk, 5, 9, 13 (marker strokes), 17 (marker strokes), 20 (marker strokes); Isaac Zakar, 11 (sticks of gum); Lemonade Serenade, 16 (bkgd graves); Memo Angeles, Cover (opossum), 1 (zombie), 3 (bkgd), 4 (opossum), 6 7 (zombie), 11 (boy), 12 (boy, zombie), 19 (boy); Mushakesa, 1 (moon), 17 (moon); opicobello, 8 (bttm); Pasko Maksim, background (top); 15 (top), 23 (top), 24; Pitju, 21 (curled paper); rivansyam, 12 (zombie); rudall30, 8 (zombie); Sarawut Padungkwan, Cover (rat, roach), 4 (roach), 11 (zombies), 15 (zombie l, top, bottom), 16 (rat), 20 (hand); Sunflowerr, 11 (bkgd); Tidarat Tiemjai, 16 (moon); VectorShots, 18 (zombie head, body); Yayayoyo, 11 (bubble) Every effort has been made to contact copyright holders for material reproduced in this book. Any omissions will be rectified in subsequent printings if notice is given to the publisher. CONTENTS CONTENTS CHAPTER 1 A Pleasant Meal Gone Wrong..........5 CHAPTER 2 Feed the Freaks......9 CHAPTER 3 Fight for Your Life....13 CHAPTER 4 Hurry Up and Hide!....17 CHAPTER 5 Get in on the Hi Jinx..20 Other Resources...........22 Dear Reader, To be honest, the author s manuscript wasn t supposed to become a book. There was a horrible mix up. You can keep reading, if you want. Just don t take any of these suggestions seriously. Sincerely, a very sorry editor
Chapter 1 A PLEASANT MEAL GONE WRONG GONE WRONG Imagine a nice, calm evening at home. You re enjoying a lovely meal with the family. Maybe you re eating a delicious burger or a fresh salad. Sounds like a perfect night. But what if there s a groan in the distance? The sound of something creeping toward you? The stink of rotting flesh in the air? Oh no! It s zombies. The dead have risen from their graves. And they re hungry for brains! 4 5
*Editor s Note: This was supposed to be a book about poodles. The author was supposed to write about fluffy poodles! Time to Survive! The zombies are outside. Good thing you re prepared. They ate Mr. Sullivan next You ve got a survival guide you never door. In no time, they ll smell thought you d need. It s time to survive you. Then they ll head your way! a zombie attack!* 6 7
The average American eats about 15.5 pounds ( kilograms) of pasta each year. Chapter 2 FEED THE FREAKS FREAKS Believe it or not, zombies don t eat just human flesh. Some like to eat a well-prepared meal instead.* They could have told us that if their faces weren t rotten. Did you know that zombies love eating pasta? It s squishy like brains but much tastier. Head for the kitchen. Boil up a box of spaghetti. Maybe bake some cheesy garlic bread. Zombies usually don t bite the hands that feed them! Survival List Zombies Favorite Non-Food Treats brains stomachs arms people named George *Editor s Note: We couldn t fact-check what zombies like. The author totally made this up. 9